The Crown Nominations Commission refused to comment on rumours that Pope Benedict is the surprise front runner to become the next Bishop of Durham. The CNC is due to discuss the appointment in May and June this year and already Paddy Power have cut the odds of Ratzinger being parachuted into this senior episcopal position in the Church of England from 5000/1 to 33/1 following a spate of high value online bets apparently originating in the Vatican.

Pope Emeritus Benedict was the first Tweeting Pontiff and it is believed he wishes to take over the popular @bishopofdurham Twitter account recently vacated by Justin Welby’s appointment as Archbishop of Canterbury. A source close to the ex-Pontiff commented, “It’s true that His Holiness has expressed his admiration for the @bishopofdurham Twitter account in the past.  And, having been a multilingual Tweeter as @Pontifex he is likely to develop Welby’s online presence by Tweeting in English and simulateously in Geordie via a new @bishopadurm account and in North Yorkshire dialect via @tbishopupyonder “