It’s silly season again and the world has gone mad for made up nativity plays. Meanwhile the annual vicar witch hunt is on. This one is making people question the very existence if the tooth fairy!!
For the record, St Nicholas and Jesus both existed. And they were both white men. Verifiable fact.
The puckered anticipation of Worldwide Geekery was sated today as Apple unveiled its long-anticipated, tempting New Product™
Presenting the New Product™, Apple executive Phil Snake explained: “we’re still working on the smartwatch version of previous Apples, but frankly they’re still the size of a Blakes 7 communicator, so we decided to make a shinier, superficially improved version of our popular Previous Product™ for pretty much twice the price. Just like last time.”
The New Product™
The Apple 5P™ will tempt consumers much more quickly, offers built-in fingerpointing recognition software (to blame your spouse / a nearby bystander more efficiently) and has had its casing redesigned to offer a curvier, smoother look, with a thinner, tapering shape to make it easier to hold.
Consumer reaction has been mixed. Avid customer Eve Theoikon welcomed the New Product™, saying “Shiny! Shiny thing! My precious! And Candy Crush Saga is preloaded! Let joy be unconfined!” whereas Mr Theoikon commented, “It looks like it’s all gone a bit pear shaped to me.”