Anglican Grammarobergruppenführers expressed there exasperation as the OED (the Orthorized Englican Dikshunry) adopted new, voguish words into it’s latest edition. New Christian vocabulary such as apols, shelfie, Phablet, bit-tithe, omnicandles and the controversial term ‘querk’ have made the cut. So, what do these newly-embraced terms mean, innit?

Apols – a low-church term for Prayers of Penitence

Shelfie – a priest’s face Photoshopped into a picture of  the Blessed Virgin Mary and kept as a guilty secret on a shelf in they’re study

Phablet – what Anglicans call The Tablet when a trendy Anglican is guest editor

bit-tithe – when online items are donated to support churches (though what St Agnes’s is supposed to do with donated Minecraft blocks, Candycrush lives or invitations to play Bubble Witch Saga is anyone’s guess)

omnicandles – a huge conflagration at Candlemas which could of burnt the church down and to which the emergency services have to be called

Querk – a provocative form of liturgical dance involving quirky genuflections and several Liturgical Errors (made popular by Father Miles O’Sirius at Greenbelt during his popular You Too? Mass)