Following the introduction of additional Eucharistic Prayers for Children in September, November will see the Liturgical Commission launch Eucharistic Prayers which target other demographic groups.

The most controversial is likely to be the Eucharistic Prayer for People Who Can’t Abide the Vicar of Dibley. “This is much needed,” said commission member Canon Brian E. Taylor, “for all those who really cannot focus on the Lord’s table whilst recalling the mis-spelling of St. Barnabus (“it’s BarnabAs – with an A” is a line from the new prayer), and their infuriation with a series which presented the Church of England as little more than a cosy bag of cute, clawless kittens.”

Chloe Finkly, aged 4, commented, “I think it’s great that grumpy grown-ups get their own prayers. Church isn’t just for us kids.” before continuing as she belted the pew in front with Peppa Pig, “Why don’t dogs come to church?”