Author Archives: masterofthememes
Keep calm and carry on Brexiting
Church of England clergy have all been delighted to be invited by their Archbishops to hold special Brexit tea parties over the Mothering Sunday weekend at less than a fortnight´s notice.
“Having been forbidden, along with the majority of clergy, from public jubilation when General Synod announced that women were allowed to be bishops to the delight of most of the nation, when we would gladly have hosted nationwide gin and sausage-butty parties to embrace people on all sides of the debate,” commented the Venerable Sam McAndrodgynous-Forename,
“it might be viewed by some to be ironic that clergy are now being actively encouraged to celebrate a turn of events which literally nobody in the country actually seems to want.”
While some churches may well try valiantly to get the warring factions of the Brexit debate together over a cuppa almost exactly three years too late, most are simply spending the next few weeks limbering up to meet the needs of those whose lives will be turned upside down in the wake of the current political omnishamblery, whilst fasting, praying, giving to charity and serving others as they prepare to recall events of yesteryear in Jerusalem which involved a hapless political leader following the will of the people before washing his hands of the whole affair.
Emergency Exits are Located….
Catholic Fidget Spinners
Top novelist @fictionfox’s husband’s career change prompts Twitter gold
So, last week the new Bishop of Sheffield was announced. What this actually precipitated was the most creative burst of episcopally related shenanigans on Twitter that we’ve ever seen from @fictionfox (who happens to be married to the bishop-designate of Sheffield).
Here are some of her best tweets.
It started with this very niche joke (if you don’t get it, look up the name of the last bishop of Sheffield):
Then contemplating becoming a Bishop’s Wife:
With a confession we were delighted to see:
And then Catherine discovered the wonderfully arcane world of episcopal clothing and accessories and the fun really began:
Then she asked:
Of course not!
And he’s not even been consecrated yet! We can’t wait to see the tweets from Bishopscroft (sorry, should that be Bishopswilcox?) from our new favourite bishop’s wife.
Follow the wonderful @fictionfox on Twitter for more episcopal fun.
Vengeance Is Fine – #AlternativeFacts
Statistics for Mission with Sean Spicer
C of E Vocations office gives Part-Time Presidency idea a cautious welcome
The Vocations department of the Church of England has congratulated the United States of America for taking the bold step of appointing its first part-time President.
“Here in the Church of England we have for many years had part-time clergy, which we now refer to as Self-Supporting Ministers,” explains Canon Dirk Otterly, Tweaker of Vocations Spreadsheets at Church House. “We find that they bring a wealth of experience from a variety of fields, though few have Mr. Trump’s rather unique track record and even fewer are prepared to attack and mock specific minority groups within their parishes to firm up their PCC’s support. The United States is to be commended for this bold step of letting someone so emotionally fragile take on such a role. Their idea of letting him carry on working for himself pretty much as he did before and limiting his duties to just Presiding now and again when he’s not busy is similar to how many of our own part-time clergy are used.”
Mr Trump tweeted “I thank the Church of England bigly for pioneering part-time Presidency. Smart.”
The Church of England prays daily that God would give wisdom to all in authority. No exceptions.