In the wake of London Mayor Boris Johnson’s claim that greed was indeed good, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan Smith, not to be outdone, has claimed that all seven traditional deadly sins are fine and dandy and part of contemporary Conservatism.

“Boris was quite right,” claimed IDS, “avarice and greed rightly lie at the very foundation of our economic vision, but of course, that is only part of the story. We should work tirelessly and without shame to put all seven at the heart of national life.

“If Boris were to look at my department, he’d see that we’re already:

• working tirelessly to promote widespread wrath directed against disabled members of society by making them out to be scroungers
• encouraging sloth among employers by allowing them to fail to pay workers a living wage – heck, we even let them get labour for free via workfare
• using the media to stir up envy among the less well off against those who have even less but receive it as social security  er… welfare
• encouraging lust by giving interviews in the Daily Mail alongside their habitually titillating photos
• giving ourselves hearty, gluttony–sating meals on expenses

and, when added to greed, that accounts for six out of the seven.”

Boris Johnson commented, “Cripes! Old Duncan Smith must be very proud…”

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